Peace when most needed.

Monday, March 7th, 2011 was my day for my 4-month PSA test in preparation for my urologist appointment next week. In the past, the week leading up to the PSA test had been characterized by periods of mild depression and apprehension. But the intensity and frequency of these episodes had been on the decrease. In fact, as time goes on, I find myself getting more and more trusting and confident in God’s power to maintain my disease. It is a general rule that our trust levels increase in times of stress as opposed to times of tranquility. At the end of our March 6th Sunday church service, my pastor again anointed me with oil and prayed over me in accordance with James 5:14-15. My consistent prayer is that my prostate cancer either be healed completely or that I be kept in natural or medication-induced remission. But I am always being challenged that in addition to my prayer for healing, it should instead be like that of Christ’s prayer before His crucifixion, namely that “not my will but God’s be done.” In any event, as I entered the hospital parking lot on a beautiful sunny Florida Monday afternoon, I paused for a few minutes and meditated upon, prayed and claimed (where appropriate) God’s wonderful promises and wisdom listed in my website section entitled “Spiritual Medicines.” With a resulting sense of peace, tranquility and humble confidence, I entered the hospital and my blood was drawn. The result would be known in 24 hours.

Tuesday morning I awoke with a great deal of apprehension. Would I continue to be in “remission” or would the PSA result show that I had become resistant (refractory) to the hormone treatments? This would be disastrous as it would accelerate my downward disease progression. I could not shake the negative feelings.  I have got to learn to counter these worst-case scenario “what if…” feelings. By noon, I could wait no longer and called my urologist who informed me that my PSA again was <0.02 ng/mL or basically undetectable. Halleluia!!! On the phone I exclaimed “praise the name of Jesus” in response to the congratulatory voices from my urologist’s office. God is so good!!!! I now await my next Lupron treatment or perhaps a “holiday”???? I will have been on hormonal therapy for five (5) years this coming July, 2011. My most troubling side effect has been a fifteen pound weight gain which I am attempting to lose by a strict diet and weight-bearing and aerobic exercise several times per week. My goal is to lose twelve (12) pounds. I’ll let you know if I succeed.

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